Monday, July 6, 2009

The Role of the Father in the home

I often reflect on the role I fill in my home as father to my children. My wife, a stay at home mom who superbly manages the daily operations of the house is often on point for most issues that need resolution. My service in the Army often has me away from home and unable directly lead my family. So I wonder what my role is and how I should go forward in performing it.

First, I look at the best example I have. My father was a true leader, who always put the family ahead of his personal desires. He taught me more than he can ever know how to be a father. I remember the first year after my parents split up. My father working days at Wal-Mart and nights at a convenience store to ensure that my brother and I had a descent place to live, food on the table and clothes to wear to school. He slept for only 4 hours a day and ensured he spent at least one hour per day with the two boys he worked so hard for. From him I learned what being a father meant and I can never thank him enough for that priceless lesson.

Second, I look to my bible. The Good Book outlines God's intent for man, a creature made in His image. As father, I am the head of the house and responsible for the conduct of those within. I lead them both spiritually and legally. I choose by which faith my children follow the Word of God. I provide them the path to enlightenment and show them by my actions what it means to be a follower of Christ.

Third I look to the law, for if I do not respect the law it is impossible for my children to respect it. Fathers must demonstrate obedience to the laws of men in order to instill the respect for that law in their children.

Finally, I think about what type of man I want my son to be and what type of man I want my little girl to marry. For our sons will seek to emulate us and our daughters will seek out men who share the ideals of their fathers. If I abuse my wife my son will be an abuser and my daughter will marry one. Men who show respect for their wives have sons who respect their mothers. Men who respect their mothers respect their wives. This is the cycle we should effort to continue.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Father vs. Daddy

I have two children. My son is is seven and my daughter is three. I often wonder how some men look at the face in the mirror and see a man.

"The Godfather" said it best. "a man who doesn't spend time with his family isn't a real man." Amen! How many times have you seen a mother raising her children alone. How many more are married but still raising her children alone.

Real men raise their children. They don't sit on the couch watching the world flow by. They aren't so involved with their own lives that their children languish at their feet. Most important real men don't abandon their children to the fate of the world.

All too often these boys who father children are too selfish and unwilling to accept the role they were all to eager to achieve. because make no mistake when you engage in sex you are trying to father a child.

Daddys are a special breed. Daddys earn that name while their children are young and continue to hold that title throughout the life of their child. Daddys stay up all night putting that birthday or christmas present together. Daddys go to their child's school and meets with teachers to ensure that their children are getting the proper education. Daddy's play with their kids, but also teach them what is right and wrong.

Daddys don't just punish they teach, coach and mold men. Your sons will be a man like you. Your daughters will look to marry a man like you. Which do you wish upon your children?

A Man and Daddy or a boy who fathered a child.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Day My Life Changed

I remember the day exactly. My girlfriend Sarah called me at my sisters house and said only four little words. "Please come home now." Those words changed my life forever. I raced over to her apartment, half terrified...half curious at what could have spurred such a call. I arrived at the apartment desperate to find out then praying I would not.

She tells me two more words and the world stood still.

That day I learned I would be a father for the first time. Immediately thousands of questions raced through my mind. What to do? How to do it? and Most important Where do we go from here? We had a tough three weeks as we discussed what to do. We finally decided to do what we new in our hearts was right. We married on September 2nd 2001 and my life has never been the same.